I’m still learning to get used to waking up knowing you’re no longer there to hug.
I’m not doing it well, but I guess practicing has paid its price.
Because no matter how much I still miss you, now I can hold myself from texting you. For me, that’s an achievement.
So if today you see me like I don’t care anymore, it’s because I’m trying to stop hoping.
Hoping that my heart will never skip a beat anymore every time I see your name, your picture, and your face coming to my mind.
I have no idea how long I can survive this lie I’m living in.
April 11
— hopefully hopeless
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